I have had an admirer in Vancouver for a few years and over the past six to eight months our visits have been more regular and more enjoyable. We have had a few nice chats and last week I asked him if he had read Venus in Furs. He answered in the negative so I pulled it off my bookshelf and suggested that he read through it. The following is our conversation post reading the book. It was topical as I am heading to Vienna which has been on my desired travel list for some time.
His response:
I read your book today, Venus in Furs.
Interesting book indeed. I would like to thank you for it.
A few points/thoughts I wanted to share with you in no significant order:
-I actually knew the author. Very famous of course. Apparently he truly lived very similar life, including a similar contract with his wife.
-Wanda didn’t want really want it. She was forced into it by him. Not clear to the end whether she really enjoyed it or not. I wonder how you got into it. How much pleasure you truly take.
-At the end of the book she really breaks him (“cure him”) and he doesn’t want to be a slave any more. Did she take him too far? Or maybe he was looking for a combination of complete slavery with simple love. Is it even possible? At one point if you stop making it an act – can love actually survive?
-Wanda reminds me of you: Sometime cruel and often soft of loving. Did she have any influence on you? Is she an archetype of of a mistress?
-Although it seemed at one point she was enjoying her role, she was really looking for a regular husband. Or even a Master.
-Once deeper into the role, she looses respect for him.
Just some initial thoughts.
Yours.
My response:
Was wondering how you were enjoying the book.
I have actually read a biography on Wanda. It is an unfortunate story. It is true that he wanted her to be the Mistress but he didn’t want her to have absolute power. He was a very controlling slave in reality, according to the accounts that I have read.
The part that I identify with is having the slave totally desperate for Me, being dressed in furs or leather and worshiped. Keeping My slave as a slave, whipping him, breaking him. Having all of him. I find that to be very romantic and worth my energies, enough so that I devote a large part of My life to it.
To be honest with you I hate the ending of the story and when I read the book, I stop before the end. It is too heart breaking and against my own ideal. Same with the movie La Maitresse, if you have never seen it I can lend it to you. She has a slave who is older and perfect but she falls in love with a young man who is stupid and arrogant, in the end she leaves her perfect slave for the young lover and I always wanted her to stay owning the old slave and have a life as a Mistress who is worshiped.
Yes I think that there can be love when a woman owns a man, when she owns him heart and soul and he lives for her, works for her, obeys her. It can be pure. I think there are men who would like to have a woman that they can worship and who knows how to be worshiped and receive such a gift as entitlement. I also think that there are plenty of women who have a chance at this bliss and they ruin it for themselves.
Life is short. I think we should enjoy it with those who have similar ideals to our own. To be able to live with passion in each day is my ideal. I love being worshiped and served. I love being a Mistress. I have read some books on famous historical Mistresses. Most of them have downfalls or weaknesses. I have chosen to learn from them, take what I like and discard what I don’t. I am 26 years old and when I was younger had no concept of the lifestyle that I could have. It is selfish in one way and that is what many people see and therefore develop an incomplete opinion of me. Being a dominant Mistress is also a gift to the slave. There are so many unsatisfied male submissives out there who are seeking a Mistress they can develop a meaningful relationship with, more than just acting, being.
His response:
I find your philosophical views interesting. I have already been exposed to some of them through your newsletters.
The question isn’t whether a man can truly love is mistress. I have no doubt that he can - if she’s the right mistress for him - find meaning in the relationship that satisfy his needs (let it be need to loose control or anything else).
The more interesting question though is “Can she truly love him?”. I doubt that. Not in the way Severin hoped – like a man and a woman. The reason is that the slave can’t challenge the mistress and intrigue her enough. The mystery in the relationship is one sided only and therefore the mistress will always have to seek for new challenges.
You are only 26. Wow. You were about 23 when I first met you. And already very skilled with clear understanding of what you wanted. Very much in control. I find that the sexiest about you. You must have had so much experience already when you were still so young.
And already truly controlling and owning older slaves.
What fascinates me is how a mistress becomes a mistress. I hope you’ll be willing to share with me your story one day.
Yours.
My response:
It is possible for the Mistress to really love her slave. It really depends on the man and the woman and what they value. I have owned slaves that I have not loved for various reasons including what you mention above, not having a challenge, becoming bored etc. I have also been very much romantically in love with a slave and he was always a slave, never switched, it wasn’t us, it wasn’t what either of our ideals were. His whole life he had a very traditional view of men and women, but it was also perverted in the sense that he wanted to be the traditional man to the outside world but inside the relationship he was the slave to the woman he loved. It was his pleasure to be of use to his mistress, to be owned by her, to provide for her, he took value and self esteem out of being able to be with and satisfy his mistress. It was selfless in the sense that he took pleasure out of being a slave plain and simple. I was just right for him, how I am and how I seduce. I may not be right for many men but I was the right mistress for him and we lived D/s.
It worked very well for both of us until the end and sadly these things can end.
I think that it can work when the man wants to be a slave for the purpose of being a slave to a woman. When the man has the viewpoint of ‘whats in it for me?’ then it is not a pure D/s and it can be tiring or frustrating for both parties eventually. Of course, the vast majority of submissive men that I meet have this perspective and so relationship bliss is generally not in the cards for a demanding woman like myself. However, there are some men who genuinely want to be a slave or to be owned/possessed. I have met a few and some of them still belong to me and I cherish them.
On further ponderance, I will suggest that the genuineness of the relationship also depends on the womans feelings about owning a slave. In the story, Wanda actually wants to have a dominant man as her lover/husband. If the woman really wants that then I can see how she would get very bored, unfulfilled in a D/s relationship and actually resent her slave. If the woman disrespects men or submissive men then of course it would be difficult for her to love him if even possible. However, I am neither of those, I would not be happy with a dominant man and I adore a selfless slave so it works for me. I have claimed this before and I will stand by it that the emotional depth of experience in a D/s relationship far exceeds one of a vanilla nature, if only because barriers are destroyed. Once you live in full passion how can you go back to the ordinary?
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