April 30, 2009
There are so many things that I would like to write about as time passes but this has not been the right platform for it so instead I have elected to refrain from writing. How ‘our’ world has changed in the past six months.
I am writing now because it is justified. May 2009 is a milestone for MD. Five years in the business. What is the business? It cannot be defined so easily. The ‘business’ is a fluid term taking on different meanings at different times and with changing audiences. What started five years ago as an optimistic but naive venture based on bookings has developed into an accomplished pursuit of happiness. The business has never been less about the business than what it is today. Five years ago, I did not envision the brilliant success of today. I simply did not have a clear long term vision. Admittedly my efforts were defined, short term in nature and repetitious. It started out as a service and developed into My expectation. Why settle for less than everything, less than the best? Why be a dominant woman who is not self actualized. I am 26 years old and living my dream life. Happy yes, but not content. Complacency and the fear of it, believe it or not was actually what got me into this business in the first place.
I am not going to say that I am the best at this, I still have ambitions that will be met as time goes on. I am going to say that I have a gift and that I can define that gift and I am a brilliant Dominant for those who suit Me. I will admit that I have changed the lives of a multitude of men who have come into My realm and there are more than a few broken hearts along the road. For most of the broken hearts, I am thankful for our time together.
I know fully that I can take a man and without much effort seduce and inspire him. I make him want to be better. To want to work for me, give all that they have for me, submit to me totally. I relish this. The men who are close to me are unendingly thankful to me for the suffering that I create for them. They are grateful for the suffering because when I shine a light on them the light is so overwhelmingly radiant that the darkness meant nothing except to prove their devotion. I am a Goddess and I am a worshipped woman. I make no apologies nor do I ask for any praise. It is what it is. Everyone can have their own interpretation of D/s. I know what works and can be relentless in my application. The secret to my creation is simply that it is not an act. I am the Mistress.
Some people who meet me may expect more of an eccentric figure, more outrageous presence, more obscenely demanding. When they are approached with a calm and confident lady they are unsure of themselves and what their response should be.
One lady that I met told me once that she thought that the men who came to see us were all losers. I couldn’t disagree more. My men all met me professionally at least once before they became slaves. They are wonderful in their own ways but all are completely devoted and live with the purpose to serve their Mistress. They are not the bottoms that are so common who make demands or attempt to control from their positions. They know I wouldn’t stand for it for a second, but more than that it is there personal pride and character that couldn’t stand to demean the woman they adore. It is just personality type blended with appropriate training. In my experience I can say that either a man has it in him or he doesn’t. Maybe he doesn’t know he could be a slave but the desire to please a woman is either genuine and complete or it isn’t. My role is facilitator. I create the space for the man to come into his own as a submissive. It is certainly not out of weakness. Not at all. The men become stronger and live with more purpose, passion and awareness in their life. I inspire. That is my gift.
Back to the business. For the past 3 years, the business has been a funny thing. Some days I am interested, others not so much. I have maintained for quite a while that I have little desire to waste my experiences on people who do not deserve it. A fee does not automatically make one deserving which is in apparent conflict to the belief of many of my callers. To be told what to do and when to do it is the perfect way to get yourself disqualified instantly. I have always kept a low profile in the belief that the right men would search me out. They would be unsatisfied with the readily available and search for the elusive perfect match. Some may think this was a recipe for disaster but what can I say, I live a charmed life and voila, it worked. I know I am different from the industry standard and fail miserably on ‘service’ points. This is also why most of the industry clients fail me. It is a sad story in a way because I could reach so many more deserving subs if the expectations were not bastardized by the reality of ‘industry’.
So where does the future lead?
At this point, I am splitting my time between Vancouver, San Francisco and Zurich. I don’t see this changing any time soon. Possibly the balance of time will be shifted between the three charming cities. I am finding that I like the Bay area more than I ever thought I would. Europe, well of course, I have to spend a minimum amount of time there each year. And Vancouver will always be calling for me.
The big news is that the Urban Playhouse, my studio in Vancouver that I have maintained for over 4 years will be closing on June 30, 2009. It is a sad day since there have been so many memories, parties, conversations that were experienced there. In the next breath it is great to be moving on to a new space. I have found a great place in Vancouver that I will be moving part of the playhouse to and the rest of it will come south to SF so I will have a private play space in both cities. There were a lot of people who came through the door of that Coal Harbour address and many friendships were made and some lost. Really looking forward to designing two new spaces and the requisite shopping and order giving that goes along with that process.
As time goes on, I expect that I will still meet with select individuals for scene creation based on mutual interest. I would have the flexibility in my life to take on another slave if he were the right person in the right situation.
To the next 5 years!
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