November 1st
i have never been a patient person. But for YOU i want to be one. As YOU explained me once: a slave must be very patient to be in a D/s relationship with YOU. Every second i cannot spend under YOUR divine feet is painful agony for me. But this is the way it is and it is okay like this. The slave must be hardened in those issues. Not until the slave’s ego has ceased and died he can be turned into something completely different by his severe MISTRESS.
November 3rd
Is there anything more admirable and lordlier than the magic inseparable bond between a demanding Mistress and Her submitting slave? – i don’t think so.
November 4th
This is what is sad when one contemplates human life, that so many live out their lives in quiet lostness; they outlive themselves, not in the sense that life’s content successively unfolds and is now possessed in the unfolding, but they live, as it were, away from themselves and vanish like shadows. Their immortal souls are blown away, and they are not disquieted by the question of its immortality, because they are already disintegrated before they die.
Do not interrupt the flight of your soul; do not distress what is best in you; do not enfeeble your spirit with half wishes and half thoughts. Ask yourself and keep on asking until you find the answer, for one may have known something many times, acknowledged it; one may have willed something many times, attempted it — and yet, only the deep inner motion, only the heart’s indescribable emotion, only that will convince you that what you have acknowledged belongs to you, that no power can take it from you — for only the truth that builds up is truth for you.
November 7th
It would be so easy for YOU to break me completely; YOUR power over me is absolute. my own little ego has made way for YOU and YOUR vision; YOUR little slave became part of YOUR vision now. Before YOU walked into my life (and also physically over me with YOUR cruel high-heeled boots what i enjoy so much), i was a normal person. But i have always felt that i am not complete like that; my heart was telling that there must be more out there and also in me; something that has been suppressed for too long; a kind of “dark side” beyond any conventions and traditions; something that only very few people would be able to understand. To share these urges with YOU, to go this path under YOUR resolute guidance and explore this amazing world of dominance & submission, pleasure & pain, respect & trust is absolutely fantastic. Nothing compares to YOU. YOU are extremely multifarious, lovely, gorgeous, intelligent, wise, profound, cruel, sadistic, stylish, graceful, romantic and perceptive rolled into one. YOUR enchanting charismatic being and mannerism is as fascinating as absorbing. It is impossible to resist YOUR beauty.
November 11th
i want to be naked for YOU in the truest sense of the word and make way for YOUR vision.
YOU push me to the limit and even overcome it. Only YOU set my new boundaries and mannerism. Only YOU take decisions and control.
November 12th
D/s is far away from being a game. It is a way of life.
i have found freedom – bound and gagged under YOUR divine feet and willing to take and to do whatever YOU ask me for. Please lead me deeper When i walk through the city i see lots women. But they are common. One could not die for them. But YOU are UNIQUE and ADORABLE. To worship YOU means everything to me.
November 13th
If Sacher-Masoch would have known YOU, his book would have taken another end. Unfortunately he had never met the person he was looking for.
Only YOUR will matters.
Please tame and make me YOURS thoroughly.
November 14th
For two long months i did not feel the whip, the crop or the cane or even the single tail; no heel trampled down my cock; no clamps decorated my pierced hypersensitive nipples. To be honest, yes, i am a little bit scared about the moment YOU punish me again. Because i want to be a wonderful slave for YOU and take everything YOU give to me. But without corporal exercise under the whip it is even more crueler to bear those strokes. YOU will be relentless on me, of course. And for sure, after the first strike i will quickly remember how it feels like to be whipped without mercy
November 15th
Today i saw several good-looking women wearing leather coats and leather boots. But they wore it without any passion and purpose. They were vain; one could not die for them. i often meditate why only very few women are aware of their natural power and dominating role over men. They could have everything from every man if they only dare ask. Matriarchy is the original type of rule.
Everything is prepared for Vegas now. Oh God, how nervous i am.
November 17th
After 9 hours in the air finally solid ground under my feet. i have never been to the U.S. The immigration is worse than expected. They detected my chastity device thus i have to get undressed and examined for more than 1 hour. They treat me like a criminal. They want me to open the lock, but i don’t know the combination. They don’t find it really funny and for a moment i am sure that they will arrest me. Would i go into jail for my GODDESS? Would this impress HER? i don’t know. i only know that i do whatever it takes to please HER.
They finally let me immigrate. In 7 hours i will finally been landing in LV.
i arrive there after been awake for more than 24 hours. After check-in, pack out my baggage and send YOU a confirmation of arrival with room number, i lie down on the hard floor in the living room; with my jacket as blanket. The bedroom and bathroom are forbidden zones for me. Though YOU did not mention it, i exactly now that YOU expect this behavior. It makes no difference if YOU are physically present or not; i am always YOUR slave and have to behave like one, of course.
November 18th
The moment YOU walk in the door is far beyond all my imagination. i fall down on my knees, naked, eyes lowered, trembling. The sound of YOUR voice leads introduces me into the world beyond the visible one; into YOUR world; YOUR world, YOUR rules.
YOU look so stunning in YOUR black mink and my hearts beats higher and higher. For more than two month i haven’t yet feel the whip. But in YOUR dominant presence this changes immediately. Without warming up the cane opens initiates the punishment. YOU hit the same part again and again to desensitize one part after the other. i try to bear the cane with courage and quiescence. But i am sometimes too weak thus i cry out for pain and feel ashamed immediately, because i want to please YOU and not be a whining sissy.
The sound of the bullwhip is so awesome. Every stroke with this instrument means pain and burns like fear on the poor skin. But bearing it is a wonderful sign of dedication.
The view from the restaurant over the strip is quite impressive. We talk about all the world and his brother. It is absolutely wonderful to have so much vanilla things in common, too.
After YOU allowed me to massage YOUR divine feet with the oil, YOU put me into the leather straightjacket that i like so much. The feeling of total helplessness mixed with the odor of leather. Of course, it is impossible to sleep like that. And if i had the choice between sleeping on the floor in the living room and blindfolded, bound and gagged on my knees captured in a cupboard close to YOU, YOU know what i would choose…
November 19th
i had never such a long night in my lifetime. The erections last every time for more than half an hour and then the painful procedure start again and again. Sometimes, i cry out for pain, but not too loud, because i don’t want to wake YOU up; i would never dare ask YOU for release. i dreamt of YOU again and again. What time is it? No idea. Yes, once more, i have to be patient and learn my lesson. Then, suddenly, YOU stand in the door in all YOUR glory, walk straight ahead to me and turn me around. The cold touch of lube surprises me, i did not see that YOU were wearing the strap on. Slowly and expertly YOU pressed against me YOU started moving slow but steady at first, firmly holding onto the straightjacket so i had no choice but to take it. It is an incredible feeling to notice that YOU enjoy the moment. After the anal play i was quite exhausted and very grateful that YOU allowed me to go to the bathroom finally. The pressure was almost inhuman.
During YOUR breakfast i was kneeling in front of YOU on my hands and legs – the only acceptable position for a slave in presence of his BELOVED GODDESS and strict & demanding MISTRESS. Without saying a word YOU fed YOUR submissive property with a few cuts of melon; i ate them slowly with awe; a very symbolic act of YOUR total power over me. It is far beyond words.
For the night YOU let me sleep on the floor again. It was cold and i was freezing naked as i was. The continuation of the sleep deprivation was almost unbearable and totally cruel. But, of course, the only important thing was that YOU had sweet dreams and could relax.
On the first day, YOU mentioned that YOU would only have about 4 days to make me feel broken and break my heart. This was more than enough time for YOU. YOU broke my heart every time YOU closed the door behind YOU and left me alone
November 20th
Today we have to move hotels. To surprise YOU i made an upgrade to the penthouse level on the 61st floor.
YOU bend me over the massive stone table in the living room and start with a extreme hard and painful education: YOU flog me with the cane intensely, before the sound of the bullwhip let me tremble. But there is no escape, the ropes around my arms, legs and neck are strong. When YOU stick the red plug deep in my arse, i must cry out for pain and beg for mercy (something i had never done before). But YOU ignore it and keep on pushing. Please pardon me this weakness.
After treating me with hot candle wax and gain me insight YOUR vision, YOU retreated to the bedroom and left me alone for about 2 hours. This was very, very hard, especially with those cruel pegs all over my tortured punished body! In addition, it was quite cold to kneel naked in uncomfortable position on the stone table. Suddenly, YOU opened the door wearing only the fur, long leather gloves and sexy black lingerie. YOU caress me and catapult me thus from hell into heaven within a second.
What followed during the evening, was one of the most touching and unforgettable moments of my whole life. i was feeling like in a dream. Perfect! Our conversation was absolutely intense and intimate. i did not expect something like that. i am totally grateful for this affecting talk.
November 21st
After a recreative night full of dreams of YOU i wake up early in the morning and prepare everything for the day. It is already our last day together in Vegas and this makes me very sad, because i am afraid of the emptiness and desperation afterwards.
It is 3:15 pm when we came home, half an hour before YOUR pedicure starts: time enough to humiliate, punish and finally captivate YOUR willing slave in front of the huge bed. Its posts are predestined for severe bondage. To create my punishment even more uncomfortable YOU decorate my poor hypersensitive nipples with those clothespins. They don’t hurt so much at the beginning. But as time comes by, they become unbearable and very, very painful. After preparing me, YOU put YOUR new red dress together with the leather pants in front of me and close the door and leave me once more alone with all my fears and urges – but for how long this time? At least for one hour, i guessed. As expected, the position punishment got worse and worse: no sense of time, every part of the body was aching. Sometimes, i cried out for pain – not loudly, but more into myself
The way YOU tortured and desensitized them was extremely cruel. It was cold and the pain became more and more unbearable. i listened to every noise hoping it would be YOU. But there was nothing but my own attempts to find a better position; what for ridiculous attempts! Then i started to fear one thing more than everything else: the removal of the clothespins. Would YOU be merciful and remove them the softest way possible? During i asked myself this stupid question i have already known the answer: no, of course not! And i must smile about my own naivety. After a long time the door was opened and YOU entered. It is indescribably majestic when YOU do so. “I am so proud that you took it, slave!” Those beautiful words are like balm for my aching body and soul. Then YOU sat down on the bed behind me, removed harshly the nipple-decoration and i cried out for pain. In this moment, i was totally broken and lost. But YOU took the pain from me pressing YOUR warm hands against my chest, kissing my back tenderly. It is so amazing and far beyond words to feel so close to YOU – body to body. YOU untied YOUR obedient slave, sending him to the bath for washing and shaving. YOU have been away for 2 hours and we must hurry to go to the musical. To remove the plug after more than 5 hours was so good. YOU decided to wear the leather pants and the fur for our last evening. YOU look stunning in every outfit, but, to be honest, to see YOU wearing leather is the fulfillment of my darkest fetish desires.
After the sustentative show in the Venetian we returned to our suite and YOU punished, humiliated, tortured and finally caught me. What YOU have done to me this night was more than i had ever expected to be able to take. The pictures YOU took during this exceptional session tell a part of the story. With cane, crop and whip YOU educated and submitted me strictly. When the whip hit and loosed the clothespin on my left nipple, the pain i felt was one of the biggest ever. To retain my composure under those circumstances was a great challenge 
That YOU allowed me afterwards to take those lovely pictures from YOU in the bathtub, touched me deeply. There were so many things i would say to YOU,
i had to sleep on the floor in front of the door to YOUR bedroom. YOU allowed me to knock on the door before i had to leave for the airport. But i could not sleep for a second this night. i laid on my back, freezing a bit and especially with a head that almost exploded: thousands of thoughts tantalized my mind; i was so afraid to depart from YOU and to be separated from YOU again. i wish there would be a possibility to spend every moment submissively under YOUR divine feet and to serve YOU 24/7. The last time i had to cry was when YOU left Zurich for Lisbon. i had to stand up and to go to the toilet, because i did not want that YOU would hear me crying. It was just terrible. Finally, it was 5:30 am and i could stand up, pack my clothes and dry my tears before knocking on YOUR door – of course on my knees with the eyes lowed down. YOU wished a glass of water and admonished me to be smart and strong during until we would meet again in January. When YOU noticed that i was fighting back my tears, YOU said: “No, no tears!” and i obeyed. YOU let me kiss YOUR hand and foot and send me away without saying anything else. To be honest, this was the cruelest lesson i had to learn during those wonderful days. i was paralyzed and torn.
On the airport, an officer ask me, if everything is okay. “Yes, why?” – “Because your trousers are bloody, sir!” – In this moment i realized that my poor knees were excoriated and that two bloodstains were visible. i was so grateful that YOU released me from the chastity device after 16 days thus i had no further problems at the control point.
…during the long flight home i started to realize what really happened in Vegas and was able to assort my devoted feelings and submissive thoughts…
November 23th
Selfishness is the biggest enemy for a real slave. Selfishness of a slave is like a venom for a D/s relationship. The slave’s ego must cease and make way for something that is bigger than everything else in his former life: the vision of his GODDESS. To become part of HER vision is all he can expect from his new life. He does not belong to himself any longer. In fact, he dies in an aesthetic sense and his MISTRESS turns him into a new being; a being far away from imagination; a slave.
All my life i have been waiting for YOU. It is just amazing and enchanting to be YOURS in every sense. Yes, YOU own me and make to me whatever YOU want. This YOU showed me very impressively in Vegas: YOU objectified me totally and took from me everything that was useful and pleasant for YOU. YOU abused, humiliated and punished me in a very, very strict and demanding manner and thus showed me where i am at my best: under YOUR divine feet!
November 24th
Whatever YOU do to me, how often YOU break my heart and leave me alone for hours – my devotedness and submission increases with every thought i have of YOU and with every moment i am YOURS. Not even a wide ocean, that separates us maybe physically, can prohibit this fact. Yes, i feel so close to YOU in every sense and want nothing else than to prove myself to YOU; to show YOU that i am worthy of YOUR howsoever natured attention. YOU can feel that my efforts are genuine and that i am confident in becoming a good slave who brings YOU pleasure and satisfaction – in the way YOU ask from him. It is impossible for a single slave to satisfy all desires and requirements of a real GODDESS of flesh and blood as YOU are. Because of this simple fact YOU own several ones who give their very best to please YOU. Please give me the unique chance to become one of them. For this i beg YOU crawling on my knees.
November 27th
Since YOU have told how the slave in Amsterdam has disappointed YOU, i feel very ashamed, because even if he did what he did he casts a damning light on other slaves with his inexcusable behavior. How could he betray YOUR trust in such a way?!? How could he be so selfish?!? – To be YOUR slave and spend time under YOU is a gift for everyone. Not to appreciate this enormous privilege is as stupid as outrageous. Selfish mannerism is incompatible with the attitude of a genuine submissive, because only YOUR will is of importance and YOUR wish is our command. We live for and through YOU. Nothing else matters. No Mistress should be let down and damned to waist Her precious time with unworthy objects without passion and purpose.
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